Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Concerned woman. Photo: Kzenon / Bigstock.com

Question from Sonya M.: Facebook is the official/unofficial way of announcing a relationship. Is it too vindictive to unfriend an ex, or is that the right move when you enter a new relationship?

Social media is a fun way to share your relationship with friends and family, but if that relationship ends, the waters can get a little murky. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using social media in the right way! Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question about whether or not you should unfriend your ex after a break-up. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice for Unfriending Your Ex on Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to dating after a break-up or divorce, it’s important to know that removing all traces of your ex on social media isn’t about being vindictive — it’s about moving on.

This is the last step at the end of your relationship, so now is the time for some “spring cleaning.” Daily reminders of him won’t allow you to move forward with your love life, so remember the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” This will remove any temptation to cyber snoop or check in on what he’s doing and who he’s dating. All in all, if you continue to stay connected, then you’re holding on — and this can hold you back from moving forward into another relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Can You Tell Red Flags From Online Dating?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Even though people have become too reliant on social media as their main form of communication, announcing a new relationship on Facebook can feel great and be validating. It’s a nice way of putting something out there about yourself that you feel good about for the people you enjoying sharing with.

On the other hand, if you no longer have an offline connection with an ex and do not feel comfortable posting about your new relationship for them to see, it’s perfectly acceptable to unfriend them. However, if you remain on good terms and they’re cool, there is no harm in staying connected with an ex on Facebook.

There are no strict rules or protocol about this. Listen to your inner compass and do what feels best for you. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Dating Advice Video: How to Get Men to Pursue You Like Crazy

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship strategist and coach Cyndi Olin about three ways to get men to pursue you like crazy. Listen to their expert dating advice in the video above!

Relationship Experts Discuss How to Get Men to Pursue You in Dating Advice Video

1. Smile: With this piece of expert dating advice, Olin reminds us of the saying, “Your presence is a present.” Walk out the door, be present in your body, and smile — and you can attract men like crazy. Eye contact and compliments pair well with a smile. “That’s like a ‘come over’ signal,” she explains. “90 percent of the time, a man will approach you and at least start talking to you. It’s all about your energy.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Beware of These Relationships

2. Engage with them: “There’s a lot of advice out there, including to let a man lead,” Olin shares. “While I believe that, men are confused when it comes to modern dating.” Men are often very careful as a way to ensure that they’re respecting you. Have a belief deep down in your soul that men are good people, and make an effort to get to know them. Remember: Your vibe attracts your tribe.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: What Men Want You to Know

3. Let go: After you smile and engage with them, let them be the one to pursue you, to call you more. “You’re not pursuing. You’re a friendly receptor of light,” Olin says. “You want him to pursue you, and he’s looking for permission to do that.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com

By Amy Osmond Cook, Ph.D.

For many of us, a lost opportunity at love or the end of a long-term relationship can sometimes make us feel like a second chance just isn’t in the cards. And when Valentine’s Day is focused on romantic dinners for two or coupled walks on the beach, it can be a painful reminder of what we lack.

Let’s face it. There’s no substitute for young love, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy being loved again later in life, especially for seniors. “Fortunately, in some ways, there has never been a better time for women over 60 to be in the dating world,” says Margaret Manning. “The rise of divorce among ‘silver splitters’ means there are more single older men — and there might be more great guys out there than you might expect at first glance, especially if you give them a chance.”

Expert Dating Advice for Older Adults

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Keys to Growing a Business When the Marriage is Over

A loving and caring companionship is a good thing, but it’s also important to recognize that it’s different for older adults. If you find yourself ready to take a shot at love again, here are three pieces of expert dating advice for making this experience feel as good as if it was new.

1. Instead of going for red hot, opt for a slow burn: Daters who are 50 and older tend to be less impulsive. And AARP writer Ken Solin says that’s a good thing: “By now, we’ve collected enough life experience to know better than to fall for the first person we meet,” said Solin. “We understand what works for us and what doesn’t.” For older adults, the belief that a fulfilling relationship is out there waiting for us still holds true. The difference is that we are willing to wait for the right person to come along.

2. Bring the Sex-C back: Instead of relying on intercourse to be the foundation for your budding relationship, a growing community is coming forward with conversations about intimacy challenges. Laura Brashier, founder of RomanceOnly.com, helped ignite this conversation when she pioneered a site designed for people whose physical and emotional challenges prevent them from engaging in intercourse. “While these people are unable to have intercourse, they still crave intimacy but are unable to open up about it,” says Brashier. “I’ve discovered that people facing difficulties with sexual intercourse still want to show love and be loved in return.”

Sharing intimate moments with someone you love is an essential part of a growing relationship, but for older adults, that doesn’t always require intercourse. Instead, a loving couple can explore other ways to share pleasure and develop a personal connection. It can be as simple as spending a whole day together erranding, participating in common interests, sharing meals, and everything in between — and then parting ways at sunset.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 4 Reasons Going Outside Your Comfort Zone Is a Good Idea

3. Expect respect: At this stage of life, older adults know what they want and what they deserve in a relationship. Yes, we want romance and attention, but we also need respect. “We all need respect, especially from those who are closest and most intimately connected with us,” says Peter Gray, PhD. “It seems to me that women, even more than men, have suffered when love directed toward them is not accompanied by respect.” It’s helpful to discover common interests, but a caring partner will also respect differing hobbies or career choices. For instance, if your partner cannot understand why you would pursue teaching as a career or insists that you give up bowling league to spend more time at the theater, these may be signs that your new squeeze is a drip. “A lack of respect is unacceptable under any circumstances, but it’s especially intolerable on a first encounter because it’s unlikely to improve with time,” says Solin.

Love certainly has its share of unpredictable twists, but there has never been an easier time to navigate those turns. For instance, with online dating sites catering to older adults and those facing struggles with intimacy, the ability to connect is offering new hope to older adults every day. By using a strategy that includes things like patience, honest communication about intimacy — and, above all, respect — you’re on the right track to finding new love again.

For more information about and articles by our relationship expert Dr. Amy Osmond Cook, click here.

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Expert Relationship Advice: Two Things That Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about two things that make a man fall in love and commit to a relationship. Watch the video above for their best expert relationship advice!

Expert Relationship Advice to Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

First, it’s important to note that it’s not really “things” that make a man fall in love and commit. “They’re traits — traits that you can develop in yourself,” Sabourin explains.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How to Emotionally Connect with a Man

1. The first trait is your high-value status: “It’s your job to present and project and create this perception that you have a high value,” the dating coach says. “And how you do that is to accept yourself.” Don’t turn over your significance to a man — your personal value needs to come from within. She adds, “Of course, any man who is looking for a woman to spend his life with wants a woman who has a high regard for herself.”

2. The second trait is vulnerability: You need to balance your strong sense of self-worth with vulnerability to avoid coming across as too masculine, aloof, or conceited. “You have to create a space of openness with a man so he can come in,” Sabourin says. “Vulnerability is really about sharing things about yourself, not being afraid to show who you really are.” Tell him things that will inspire him to take care of you.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How to Get Men to Fall Into Your Lap

What about a woman who thinks being vulnerable will make her appear weak? “Ladies, look at that, because that tells me you’re protecting your heart and you have a defense up,” Sabourin shares. “When you have a defense up, it’s like a wall, a fence, that keeps the love and relationship you want out.” There’s so much power in vulnerability: It shows that you love and accept yourself, that you’ve been hurt but that you’re open to something new.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Relationship Advice: How to Stay Confident in a Long-Term Relationship

Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: How to Stay Confident in a Long-Term Relationship

How to communicate. Photo: Nyul / Bigstock.com

By David Wygant

In order to feel confident in a long-term relationship, you need to be in the right long-term relationship for you. If you’re not safe and you don’t feel like you’re being heard, then you’re in the wrong partnership. There’s no way in the world you will ever thrive in a relationship where you feel judged and evaluated at all times. For me — and I’ve been in many long-term relationships — the ones that I always felt most confident in were the relationships where I was actually seen for who I am. If a woman is trying to change you, if she’s trying to make you into someone you’re not, you’re never going to feel confident.

Long-Term Relationship Advice from Relationship Expert David Wygant

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How Can I Change My Dating Tactics for the New Year?

Long-term relationships are some of the most beautiful things you can ever experience, but the only way to have a successful one is to truly communicate who you are. As a relationship expert, I believe that the beginning of a relationship is when you have the opportunity to be who you are and expose yourself. If you’re going to give her a false version of yourself, then her expectations are going to run rampant. And when her expectations run rampant, you’re not going to have a successful long-term relationship. That’s the biggest mistake most people make.

Most people make this mistake because, over and over again, they think they need to misrepresent themselves to “get” the relationship. To me, I expose it all — everything. I reveal all my fears and insecurities because I’m looking for a real relationship, a long-term relationship where I’m able to grow.

A strong long-term relationship is a relationship that’s a mirror. You literally reflect each other each and every day. By doing so, you will show each other exactly what you need to learn. A great relationship will reflect that right back at you. The best relationships are when you grow and when you get out of your own story and are able to create new stories together.

Related Link: Dating Advice for Dealing With the Break-Up Blues

So my best relationship advice for feeling confident is to be ready to express yourself. If you’re not able to talk about who you are and what you want, then you’re not in the right long-term relationship. Now, I can sit here and write another 25 pages on this topic, but the reality is, in life, we need to keep things more simple. And the simple dating advice that I can give you today is that you need to communicate all your needs, your wants, and your desires at the start of a partnership to be fully accepted and heard. Once you do, you’ll feel confident in your long-term relationship.

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. 

For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.

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10 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas Inspired by Celebrity Couples

By Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher for Project Soulmate

February is right around the corner, and we all know what that means: Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here, the one day of year when couples get to celebrate their love and singles get to eat Ben and Jerry’s guilt-free. This day is really magical. It’s when romance can finally express itself, and those in a relationship can really show their gratitude for one another.

However, the day doesn’t get cut much slack, mostly because a lot of people don’t know what to do to celebrate. That’s where expert matchmakers Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher can help! They are at the helm of the luxury matchmaking company Project Soulmate, and with their combined expertise, they know how to craft a date idea that’s fit for any type of relationship.

This year, with their expert relationship advice, we have crafted 10 date ideas inspired by celebrity couples. These duos all have one thing in common: their strong bond with their soulmate. By taking inspiration from their love lives, we hope you can find a date that will bring you and your partner even closer together.

Related Link: New Year, New You! Expert Relationship Advice to Revamp Your Love Life

Look to Your Favorite Celebrity Couples for Valentine’s Day Inspiration

1. Beyoncé and Jay-Z: This Valentine’s Day, we want you and your partner to spend it Crazy in Love. We want you to forget all of your 99 Problems and put your Love on Top. Yes, those puns mean what you think they do: a Valentine’s date idea inspired by the iconic duo Beyoncé and Jay-Z. This celebrity couple has been together for over 15 years. They’ve written dozens of songs together and now have three beautiful children — who wouldn’t want to spend a day emulating them?

Why not go to a concert for Valentine’s Day? It doesn’t have to be a big one; it could be a small band that you and your loved one both enjoy. Singing and listening to music with your partner on such a romantic day is sure to hit some right notes. Or, if you want something more low-key, a karaoke bar could be great. Enjoying music together is perfect for couples who already have a passion for the industry –and obviously, a shared musical interest has served Beyoncé and Jay-Z well.

2. Victoria and David Beckham: When you think of inspirational celebrity couples, who comes to mind? If it’s not Victoria and David Beckham, then you’ve had a lapse in memory because no couple is more #goals than them! These two are the textbook definition of class, and we heard that, if you look up “posh” in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of the two of them surrounded by their four children. We’re joking, of course, but this celebrity couple is the inspiration for our next Valentine’s Day date idea: a swanky dinner.

Going to a posh, new restaurant with your significant other is a classic idea and a tried-and-true Valentine’s Day date. So throw in a David Beckham-twist, and head to a sports game or bar before the two of you dress up for your five-star meal. It may be a fun way to release some nerves before your dinner plans.

3. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard: Two of the most underrated people in Hollywood also happen to be happily married and have a relationship that shows that shared humor is a blessing. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have proven that a love for comedy leads to the purest of partnerships and makes for some great laughs that help you and your loved one grow even closer. Taking inspiration from these two, go to a comedy club or an underground stand-up night. Take your partner to a place where you both can laugh and enjoy a fun time that’s bound to be memorable.

Related Link: Celebrity Couple News: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Rent a Roller Skating Rink for Date Night

4. Rose Leslie and Kit Harington: You and your partner have a solid relationship, and you guys aren’t the going out type. The two of you have no plans for Valentine’s Day, except that Chinese takeout you want to order, and you’re not really sure what to watch. Take a cue from stars Rose Leslie and Kit Harrington, who fell in love while on set together for Game of Thrones. Find shows and films where the couples are married in real life, and watch their romance blossom on-screen, all the while knowing that they’re still in love off-camera. Start by rewatching (or watching for the first time!) those early episodes of GoT where Jon and Ygritte fall in love, and don’t miss the true magic that is being filmed between these two soulmates!

5. Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks: Another date night idea that doesn’t involve going out and dealing with the madness that is Valentine’s Day takes inspiration from power couple Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks. These two have been happily married for almost 30 years and have two sons together, but as a couple, they’re probably best-known for their ability to keep to themselves. They’ve managed to stay under the radar when in comes to paparazzi, and that’s because they’re both as down-to-earth as a celebrities can get. They prove that you don’t have to be glitz and glam to enjoy being with your loved one.

Take inspiration from them and stay home and make dinner together. Spend a low-key night bonding with each other and with your family rather than making a big scene. Their love has proven that it’s not about what you do; it’s about who you do it with.

6. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick: Valentine’s Day doesn’t strictly mean that you and your partner have to spend time alone together. It’s a day about love, but it doesn’t have to be spent isolated from your closest friends. This Valentine’s Day, take inspiration from Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick and host a group dinner at home. This celebrity couple is known for their incredible group of friends; they know how to be loving with their spouse while also maintaining a healthy social life. So why not have a Valentine’s Day dinner party and avoid the hassle of making plans at a fully-booked restaurant? Afterwards, you all can play cute couple games and end the night on a fun note.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: The Stages of Soulmates

7. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher: Mila Kunis shared that her first kiss ever was on the set of That 70’s Show with her future husband Ashton Kutcher. If that isn’t one of the cutest stories ever, we don’t know what is! The two of them have two children together and are always pictured smiling ear-to-ear at basketball and baseball games together.

That’s why our next date idea was easy: Take your loved one to a sporting event. Watching sports together makes for some great moments — from the pre-game tailgate to the first minutes after a big win, a game is bound to make the two of you feel closer. Plus, this celebrity couple seems to really enjoy watching the game together, so if it works for them, it can’t hurt to try it with your significant other.

8. Jada Pinkett-Smith and Will Smith: The next inspiration for a Valentine’s Day date idea comes from a famous couple that exemplifies trendy. Jada Pinkett-Smith and Will Smith have been together for nearly 21 years and have two children who have both thrived in the artsy-alternative community. This is a family of trendsetters and artists, so a date inspired by them needs to be on the same thread.

That’s why we suggest that you and your soulmate go to a modern art exhibit or a jazz club — something that stimulates your minds but is visually or musically pleasing too. Afterwards, go to a cute little place for dinner for a well-rounded date. You can talk about the art or performance during your meal, so you don’t have to worry about any awkward silences!

9. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.: From She’s All That to Cruel Intentions, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. ruled the silver screen of 90’s romances, and now, they have championed a new field: long-term celebrity relationships. They have been married for almost 16 years and have two children together, and there has never been a rumor of them getting a celebrity divorce or threatening to split.

A great date idea for the couple who loves a little bit of 90’s romance is a night out at a retro theatre watching old rom-coms. Snack on some buttery popcorn and soda for a throwback Valentine’s Day date night!

Related Link: Celebrity News: Find Out Details About Meghan Markle’s Upcoming Bachelorette Party

10. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry: We couldn’t end this list without including the celebrity couple whose engagement has dominated headlines for the past month or so. Yes, we’re talking about the much anticipated royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Taking inspiration from this couple, we decided that the best date idea would be to get fancy and take your loved one to high tea. Enjoy the cute little hors d’oeuvres and classy tea rituals before heading to a spa for some much-needed rest and relaxation. End the day with a bath bomb or a bubble bath from Lush’s collection of rose-scented goodies, and enjoy some romantic tub time as a couple.

For more expert relationship advice from Project Soulmate, check out their website.

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Checklist for Dating from Different Decades: Get Love Advice from ‘The Bachelor’ Star Arie Luyendyk, Jr.

Cupid's Pulse Article: Checklist for Dating from Different Decades: Get Love Advice from ‘The Bachelor’ Star Arie Luyendyk, Jr.

Arie Luyendyk Jr. Photo: Instagram/@ariejr.

By Megan Weks

There is a bit of a buzz going on about the age gap between some of the contestants and the leading man on season 22 of The Bachelor. Is it really a big deal? After all, significant age differences are often common in celebrity relationships. A notable one is Mary-Kate Olsen and French businessman Olivier Sarkozy, who is seventeen years older than the fashion designer. Celebrity couple Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness also seem to be handling the test of time: She is thirteen years his senior, and they have been married for nearly two decades.

Love Advice from Bachelor Star Arie Luyendyk Jr.

What should we look out for if we are dating someone from a different decade? Since Arie Luyendyk Jr. seems well-prepared to qualify the candidates on The Bachelor, we might be able to get some great love advice from his experiences. He has self-proclaimed “baby fever” and is therefore seeking a match who is ready to tie the knot and start a family.

Related Link: Celebrity News: ‘Bachelor’ Star Arie Luyendyk Jr. Justifies First Impression Rose Pick

A good relationship starts with good intentions — which means, if both people know what they want out of life and have similar values, there is a much better chance for success, regardless of a difference in age. Luyendyk knows what he wants, which will make it easier for him to see if the intentions of the women he meets match his own. When people do not have clarity on what they want out of life, they can easily veer away from one another on the path to self-discovery.

Regarding his decision-making process with regard to age, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Luyendyk said, “I only really addressed that if I felt it was an issue — if there was some immaturity or if I questioned whether they were really ready for marriage. It’s more about readiness and about being able to take that next step.”

Realize that, if you choose a mate from a different decade, there will be things you don’t have in common. My husband, who is ten years older than me, has different musical interests and grew up knowing different movies and shows. However, since I had an older sibling and am a person who likes all the arts, we find similarities among our tastes. This difference could become frustrating, however, for those who cannot connect through the arts because inevitably, you’ll be spending time listening to music and watching movies and shows together. Therefore, it’s ideal to be able to find some common ground in media that you can enjoy together.

Related Link: Expert Love Advice: How I Used a Manfunnel to Meet My Dream Husband

Another thing to look out for: Either you or your partner will be aging at what seems like a faster rate. Your partner may be reaching the next stage of life — middle age or elderly — before you. This difference might start to be more noticeable for you if you’re the younger half. You’ll want to be sure you have enough of a soul connection that this situation won’t matter to you.

Overall, if your goals, values, and soul connection are intact, then age truly is just a number.

For more information about dating expert Megan Weks, visit her website at www.meganweks.com. For more relationship advice articles from Megan, click here

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