Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com

By Amy Osmond Cook, Ph.D.

For many of us, a lost opportunity at love or the end of a long-term relationship can sometimes make us feel like a second chance just isn’t in the cards. And when Valentine’s Day is focused on romantic dinners for two or coupled walks on the beach, it can be a painful reminder of what we lack.

Let’s face it. There’s no substitute for young love, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy being loved again later in life, especially for seniors. “Fortunately, in some ways, there has never been a better time for women over 60 to be in the dating world,” says Margaret Manning. “The rise of divorce among ‘silver splitters’ means there are more single older men — and there might be more great guys out there than you might expect at first glance, especially if you give them a chance.”

Expert Dating Advice for Older Adults

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Keys to Growing a Business When the Marriage is Over

A loving and caring companionship is a good thing, but it’s also important to recognize that it’s different for older adults. If you find yourself ready to take a shot at love again, here are three pieces of expert dating advice for making this experience feel as good as if it was new.

1. Instead of going for red hot, opt for a slow burn: Daters who are 50 and older tend to be less impulsive. And AARP writer Ken Solin says that’s a good thing: “By now, we’ve collected enough life experience to know better than to fall for the first person we meet,” said Solin. “We understand what works for us and what doesn’t.” For older adults, the belief that a fulfilling relationship is out there waiting for us still holds true. The difference is that we are willing to wait for the right person to come along.

2. Bring the Sex-C back: Instead of relying on intercourse to be the foundation for your budding relationship, a growing community is coming forward with conversations about intimacy challenges. Laura Brashier, founder of RomanceOnly.com, helped ignite this conversation when she pioneered a site designed for people whose physical and emotional challenges prevent them from engaging in intercourse. “While these people are unable to have intercourse, they still crave intimacy but are unable to open up about it,” says Brashier. “I’ve discovered that people facing difficulties with sexual intercourse still want to show love and be loved in return.”

Sharing intimate moments with someone you love is an essential part of a growing relationship, but for older adults, that doesn’t always require intercourse. Instead, a loving couple can explore other ways to share pleasure and develop a personal connection. It can be as simple as spending a whole day together erranding, participating in common interests, sharing meals, and everything in between — and then parting ways at sunset.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 4 Reasons Going Outside Your Comfort Zone Is a Good Idea

3. Expect respect: At this stage of life, older adults know what they want and what they deserve in a relationship. Yes, we want romance and attention, but we also need respect. “We all need respect, especially from those who are closest and most intimately connected with us,” says Peter Gray, PhD. “It seems to me that women, even more than men, have suffered when love directed toward them is not accompanied by respect.” It’s helpful to discover common interests, but a caring partner will also respect differing hobbies or career choices. For instance, if your partner cannot understand why you would pursue teaching as a career or insists that you give up bowling league to spend more time at the theater, these may be signs that your new squeeze is a drip. “A lack of respect is unacceptable under any circumstances, but it’s especially intolerable on a first encounter because it’s unlikely to improve with time,” says Solin.

Love certainly has its share of unpredictable twists, but there has never been an easier time to navigate those turns. For instance, with online dating sites catering to older adults and those facing struggles with intimacy, the ability to connect is offering new hope to older adults every day. By using a strategy that includes things like patience, honest communication about intimacy — and, above all, respect — you’re on the right track to finding new love again.

For more information about and articles by our relationship expert Dr. Amy Osmond Cook, click here.

<!–
http://web.adblade.com/js/ads/async/show.js –>

‘);
script.type = ‘text/javascript’;
script.src = ‘http://widget.crowdignite.com/widgets/28900?_ci_wid=_CI_widget_’+_CI.counter;
script.async = true;
ref.parentNode.insertBefore(script, ref);
})();

Expert Relationship Advice: When to Sleep Over

Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Relationship Advice: When to Sleep Over

Happy relationship. Photo: Subbotina Anna / Bigstock.com

By Megan Weks

When to sleep with someone is a personal decision; it must be considered for each specific situation. However, before you decide, influenced by him as the external factor, an internal overview is always the first consideration.

Consider the expert relationship advice below:

Many great loves that have begun with an immediate naked, giddy romp have turned into serious relationships and lasting love stories. You may even know a couple who started off this way. Even so, I’m going to offer some expert relationship advice for you to think about before making the fateful decision to jump into the sack.

Being single can be tiresome. Our bodies ache and yearn for closeness. The discomfort of pulling yourself together after work to be date-ready, skipping workouts, and spending money on clothes and cabs, only to have to face an unknown person who decides whether you’re a yes or a no, can be a process of grueling anxiety.

Related Link: Dating Advice: When Should I Sleep with a Guy?

It’s easier to slip into your comfy stretch pants and dive onto your warm, cozy couch for some yummy snuggles with the hot-blooded male specimen standing before you. You crave to feel a warm touch or a tickle on your back and perhaps gentle cheek kisses. Ahhh. The delicious comfort of a relationship! The urgency to advance quickly into this stage has many of us skipping the necessary qualifying steps that, ideally, come before committing to an exclusive relationship.

There are two ways to approach the intimacy process in a new relationship. The first is to dive right in, learn about the guy’s intentions and goals, and hope that the relationship falls into place (keeping in mind that his words don’t necessarily determine his intentions — only time and consistency will reveal his true intentions). If you take this approach, you’ll be making relationship decisions after the physical bond has been formed. Even if this man is not right for you on multiple other planes, you’ll have to determine that while feeling physically attached to him! Therefore, your body will be yearning for closeness with him, while you’re still trying to figure out if he wants what you want, has similar values, and so on.

After having sex, it’s proven that your brain makes cloudy (hormone-influenced) decisions about the person to whom you are attached. This is how we end up in time-consuming “mini-relationships,” often followed by painful “mini-break-ups.”

Do you have relationships that begin hot and heavy and then start to taper off and fade away? Do you have a hard time getting serious interest from men? Have you not had a serious relationship in longer than you would care to admit? If so, I want to stress this second approach to the intimacy process: Take your time to get to know a guy over two to three months before the sleepover. The process where you learn about one another slowly, without exclusivity and without sex, is what I call The Exploratory Phase of the relationship. If you include this phase in your dating process, you will decrease your number of sexual partners and increase the likelihood that your relationship will stand the test of time.

Even naturals at love can still fall prey and find themselves mired in many time-consuming :miniature-serious” relationships. You see, when you dive in head first, you put yourself in a position I call Lay and Pray. This is when the physical part of the relationship occurs before the actual relationship. A woman who gets caught up in Lay and Pray is telling herself that she can handle it and that she’s going to remain cool while things fall into place. Sound familiar? However, in this place of uncertainty, she’s feeling uneasy, seeking for answers or clues to help her define what’s happening with the relationship.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How I Used a Manfunnel to Meet My Dream Husband

Even if what she is experiencing with him is not ideal, she’s not exploring other options because she feels attached and is not interested in seeking out other possibilities. Women whom I define as naturals at love might still have a decent ROI (return on investment) with this method of dating because the naturals usually have a better feeling about the men who are coming into their lives. This means that, since they are making overall healthier choices when it comes to men, they will have a higher ROI in their dating process. Even though a woman may be able to jump into bed and have a chance of that turning into a solid relationship, she still needs to consider her goals, her health, and the time investment she is willing to put into having multiple “mini-serious” relationships.

Keep in mind that if he’s the right man for you, you’ll likely have the rest of your life to enjoy him, both in bed and on the couch. Either way, happy humping!

For more information about dating expert Megan Weks, visit her website at www.meganweks.com. For more expert relationship advice articles from Megan, click here

<!–
http://web.adblade.com/js/ads/async/show.js –>

‘);
script.type = ‘text/javascript’;
script.src = ‘http://widget.crowdignite.com/widgets/28900?_ci_wid=_CI_widget_’+_CI.counter;
script.async = true;
ref.parentNode.insertBefore(script, ref);
})();

Expert Relationship Advice: How I Used a Manfunnel to Meet My Dream Husband

Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Relationship Advice: How I Used a Manfunnel to Meet My Dream Husband

Get him to propose. Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com

By Megan Weks

Once upon a time, a lonely woman centered her heart and her hopes on a certain man, whom she put on a pedestal. She wondered what he saw in her and why a man of his caliber would be interested in what she had to offer. Long after he let her go, she would obsess and compare other men to him, feel sorry for herself, and wonder why a relationship hadn’t yet worked out for her when they had for so many other women. When would it be her turn?

Dating Expert Megan Weks Shares Relationship Advice to Help You Find The One

This heartbreaking story was my ongoing pattern. I had gone through so many let-downs while dating in Manhattan for over a decade. Of course, I had some monumental takeaways. Oftentimes, though, I was already “in” the relationship whole-heartedly by the time I figured out it was not the real deal. This left me with painful and long recovery times when I had to grieve and slowly get back on my feet before being ready to face the dating world again. I finally realized that it was not intelligent of me to give my all to these men before I knew their motives. I learned that their true intentions showed up in the first three or four months of dating.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: Don’t Let Him Be the One Who Got Away

The Manfunnel was born out of simple math and complex self-love. It was built from the same equation that helped me find love quickly and learn how to capture the hearts of much higher-quality men than I had been accustomed to. A Manfunnel is simply a group of men who are looking to pursue you for a relationship; it’s a tool used in what I call “The Abundance Model of Dating.” It means that you hold off from becoming exclusive until you find a man who truly meets your needs on every level and on your timeline.

To follow this expert relationship advice, remember that a man is not going to date you exclusively if you aren’t meeting his needs. Similarly, you should not allow yourself to be pigeon-holed into a relationship that does not serve your needs. You’re going to have to be really honest with yourself about what you truly want. Additionally, you will have to drop all of the excuses as to why he is not meeting your needs. Ask yourself if you are truly happy. Keep a daily log of how you are feeling and reflect on the relationship. If your relationship is anxiety-ridden, ask yourself why you are accepting this situation.

After you’ve determined that your needs are not being met and that you are ready to have it all and quickly, you are ready to build your Manfunnel. What this means is that, even though you have found someone who excites you, you will continue to keep your options open until you know for sure he is The One. A good rule of thumb is to wait for three months before you delete your other options. During that time, you are learning about men and about what will truly make you happy in a relationship. I call this waiting time “The Exploratory Phase.” This can feel as if you’re taking things extremely slowly; however, it actually saves you years of time.

Having a Manfunnel helps you from becoming overinvested too soon. When we believe there is a lack of options, we may start to slip into a place of scarcity. It’s cyclical: When we start to believe this idea, men read our energy and also begin to believe that you don’t have options. Biologically, this sends a message to men that you are not a high-value mate or a great catch…even if you are!

Related Link: Dating Advice: Should I Drop All The Other People I’m Interested In?

How Megan Weks Used Her Own Expert Relationship Advice

My Manfunnel helped me realize my value in the dating marketplace. I started gaining momentum, and the confidence to date the kind of men I’ve always dreamed of — and, even better, to have these men want to make a commitment with me! When the man who would be my husband showed up, I came across as poised and feminine. You see, I had allowed myself to be filled up by the energies flowing toward me in the dating process, and this energy projected my warm and positive outlook on love. And so, I was able to make a choice with a clear head and an open heart. I set my boundaries on taking things slowly, and he enjoyed every minute of it. When he proposed before our six-month dating anniversary, I knew I had found the right man.

If you are looking to streamline the dating process and avoid having an unnecessary, painful broken heart, it’s time to learn how to Master Your Manfunnel. Doing this can open up a whole new world to you.

For more information about dating expert Megan Weks, visit her website at www.meganweks.com. For more relationship advice articles from Megan, click here

<!–
http://web.adblade.com/js/ads/async/show.js –>

‘);
script.type = ‘text/javascript’;
script.src = ‘http://widget.crowdignite.com/widgets/28900?_ci_wid=_CI_widget_’+_CI.counter;
script.async = true;
ref.parentNode.insertBefore(script, ref);
})();

Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes,’ But Shouldn’t


On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Duana Welch to offer their best dating advice on how to stand firm on your beliefs. Find out how you can say no to things you don’t want without losing his affection with the following dating tips!

Dating advice that will save you from making a mistake.


1. Don’t agree to hang out. You need to show a man how you want to be treated by setting standards. Only say yes when he asks you out on a proper date. Reject all requests that are optional or casual hang outs like “Netflix and Chill.” A man that wants you will get the hint and put in the effort for chase. So keep yourself busy until he puts in the work, and only make yourself available for real dates.

Related Link: Dating Advice: What to Do When He Says, ‘I’m Not in Love With You!

2. Say yes to fun. Happy couples have more positive interactions than they do negative. Take time to enjoy your time together or else your relationship is doomed to fail. Also try to avoid gridlock, meaning your problems never get solved. If you only get what you want with a threat, it’s never going to work. You have to care about each other’s happiness.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Tell Him You’re Not Ready to Have Sex?

3. Ask if it’s worth it. At some point in the relationship there will be a betrayal. One person will have expectations that aren’t met in a serious manner. If you decide you want to salvage what you have together, you need to ask yourself if it’s worth the effort before saying yes. You may just realize that it’s not and save yourself from wasted time.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

<!–
http://web.adblade.com/js/ads/async/show.js –>

‘);
script.type = ‘text/javascript’;
script.src = ‘http://widget.crowdignite.com/widgets/28900?_ci_wid=_CI_widget_’+_CI.counter;
script.async = true;
ref.parentNode.insertBefore(script, ref);
})();

Dating Advice: What to Do When He Says, ‘I’m Not in Love With You!

On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Jed Diamond to offer their best dating advice on how to cope without his love. Find out how you can tell him without losing his affection with the following dating tips!

Dating advice that will help you deal with rejection.


1. Don’t freak out. It’s shocking to hear the man you love doesn’t feel the same way, but you need to remain calm and hear him out. There could be numerous reasons why he is saying this to you and it could be possible he misspoke. It’s your job to listen and find out why his feelings have changed.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Tell Him You’re Not Ready to Have Sex?

2. Find out more. Talking it out can be scary, but it needs to happen. The best way to heal is to find out more. You can’t take this news as everything being over. He’s telling you this information because the relationship means something to him and he wants to save it.Your relationship needs to go deeper to be fixed.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 4 Ways To Make Your Man Happy!

3. Disillusionment. This step comes in after the panic and conversation has gotten over. Typically, both parties will acknowledge that the relationship isn’t what it used to be and may blame each other. But you and your significant other need to be honest with yourselves and work together to get back on track.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

<!–
http://web.adblade.com/js/ads/async/show.js –>

‘);
script.type = ‘text/javascript’;
script.src = ‘http://widget.crowdignite.com/widgets/28900?_ci_wid=_CI_widget_’+_CI.counter;
script.async = true;
ref.parentNode.insertBefore(script, ref);
})();

Dating Advice: When To Say I Love You?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: When To Say I Love You?

Couple cuddling with love pillow. Photo: hjalmeida / Bigstock.com

By Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher for Project Soulmate

One of the biggest and perhaps scariest questions that arise when you begin to date someone new is determining when to say those three big words, “I love you.” But how do you know when it’s the right time to say it? Here are the key pieces of dating advice to keep in mind before putting your heart on the line.

Dating advice on the right time to say I love you.

Make sure its love. This may seem like an obvious point, but when you first start dating someone, you mistake lust for love. Before you say it, realize there are no take backs. You can’t say it one day and change your mind the next. If you are going to say it, make sure you really feel like you love the person and have the feeling that they love you too. Are you excited to spend time with the person and get to know them on a deeper level? Do you feel completely yourself around this person? These are questions that you should ask yourself before taking the plunge.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Can An Open Relationship Ever Work?

Can you let your guard down? Often times when you start out dating someone, it is easy because you haven’t fully opened up to one another. Make sure that you are prepared to let your guard down and open up to this person. Also make sure you are willing to listen and not judge when your partner opens up to you.

Related Link: 5 Reasons To Play Hooky From Work With Your Honey

How long have you been dating? There is no set number of weeks or months that you need to abide by before saying I love you, but it should be long enough where you have spent enough time together to really get to know each other and fall in love. Also make sure enough time has passed that you aren’t going to freak your partner out or cause relationship problems.

For more advice on love and relationships from relationship experts, check out our website.

<!–
http://web.adblade.com/js/ads/async/show.js –>

‘);
script.type = ‘text/javascript’;
script.src = ‘http://widget.crowdignite.com/widgets/28900?_ci_wid=_CI_widget_’+_CI.counter;
script.async = true;
ref.parentNode.insertBefore(script, ref);
})();

Dating Advice: How to Tell Him You’re Not Ready to Have Sex?

/

On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Tinzley Bradford to offer their best dating advice on telling a man you’re not ready for sex. Find out how you can tell him without losing his affection with the following dating tips!

Dating advice that will help you say no means no!


1. Tell him. You just need to be honest about how you’re feeling. Whether it’s due to a spiritual reason, or wanting to take things slow, you have to be open about why you don’t want to have sex. If you don’t, the man you’re with may think you’re not attracted to him. So tell him how you feel before a misunderstanding occurs.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 4 Ways To Make Your Man Happy!

2. Be careful. If you go out with him and you know you’re not interested in having sex, you need to prevent yourself from entering awkward situations or temptation. This means you may have to decline invitations to spend the night. There’s no reason to put yourself in an intimate position if you don’t want to go all the way.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Dealing With a Dating Burnout

3. Find out. Aside from being honest with a man, you need to find out his intentions for yourself. Ask him how he feels about you not wanting to have sex. This will help you weed out the men who only see you as a booty call. A man that’s really interested in getting to know you will put in the effort regardless of sex.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

<!–
http://web.adblade.com/js/ads/async/show.js –>

‘);
script.type = ‘text/javascript’;
script.src = ‘http://widget.crowdignite.com/widgets/28900?_ci_wid=_CI_widget_’+_CI.counter;
script.async = true;
ref.parentNode.insertBefore(script, ref);
})();