Dating Advice Video: Stop Settling for Men Who Don’t Deserve You!


By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Tinzley Bradford about how to stop settling for men who don’t deserve you. Here, Bradford shares three signs that you’re with the wrong man.

Relationship Author Reveals How to Stop Settling in Dating Advice Video


1. You’re unhappy: “If you’re constantly unhappy with how you’re being treated, you’re settling,” Bradford shares. “Love and a healthy relationship does not create confusion or make you feel unhappy, unstable, or even uncertain.” You should be in a relationship with someone who brings out the best in you and makes you feel good about yourself.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: The Questions You Should Be Asking Him

2. Your relationship isn’t reciprocal: “It takes two to tango, baby!” Bradford exclaims. If you’re always giving but never getting enough back, you’re settling. You deserve a man who loves you just as much as you love him. “He’s got to be doing his part in your relationship,” the relationship author adds.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Fall in Love with Dating 

3. You feel guilty for being you: “If you’re in a relationship with a guy who’s competing against you, belittling your dreams, and not being excited about your success, you don’t need to be with that person” she shares. You should never be with someone who makes you feel guilty for wanting to shine.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Concerned woman. Photo: Kzenon / Bigstock.com

Question from Sonya M.: Facebook is the official/unofficial way of announcing a relationship. Is it too vindictive to unfriend an ex, or is that the right move when you enter a new relationship?

Social media is a fun way to share your relationship with friends and family, but if that relationship ends, the waters can get a little murky. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using social media in the right way! Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question about whether or not you should unfriend your ex after a break-up. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice for Unfriending Your Ex on Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to dating after a break-up or divorce, it’s important to know that removing all traces of your ex on social media isn’t about being vindictive — it’s about moving on.

This is the last step at the end of your relationship, so now is the time for some “spring cleaning.” Daily reminders of him won’t allow you to move forward with your love life, so remember the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” This will remove any temptation to cyber snoop or check in on what he’s doing and who he’s dating. All in all, if you continue to stay connected, then you’re holding on — and this can hold you back from moving forward into another relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Can You Tell Red Flags From Online Dating?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Even though people have become too reliant on social media as their main form of communication, announcing a new relationship on Facebook can feel great and be validating. It’s a nice way of putting something out there about yourself that you feel good about for the people you enjoying sharing with.

On the other hand, if you no longer have an offline connection with an ex and do not feel comfortable posting about your new relationship for them to see, it’s perfectly acceptable to unfriend them. However, if you remain on good terms and they’re cool, there is no harm in staying connected with an ex on Facebook.

There are no strict rules or protocol about this. Listen to your inner compass and do what feels best for you. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Dating Advice Video: How to Get Men to Pursue You Like Crazy

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship strategist and coach Cyndi Olin about three ways to get men to pursue you like crazy. Listen to their expert dating advice in the video above!

Relationship Experts Discuss How to Get Men to Pursue You in Dating Advice Video

1. Smile: With this piece of expert dating advice, Olin reminds us of the saying, “Your presence is a present.” Walk out the door, be present in your body, and smile — and you can attract men like crazy. Eye contact and compliments pair well with a smile. “That’s like a ‘come over’ signal,” she explains. “90 percent of the time, a man will approach you and at least start talking to you. It’s all about your energy.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Beware of These Relationships

2. Engage with them: “There’s a lot of advice out there, including to let a man lead,” Olin shares. “While I believe that, men are confused when it comes to modern dating.” Men are often very careful as a way to ensure that they’re respecting you. Have a belief deep down in your soul that men are good people, and make an effort to get to know them. Remember: Your vibe attracts your tribe.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: What Men Want You to Know

3. Let go: After you smile and engage with them, let them be the one to pursue you, to call you more. “You’re not pursuing. You’re a friendly receptor of light,” Olin says. “You want him to pursue you, and he’s looking for permission to do that.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com

By Amy Osmond Cook, Ph.D.

For many of us, a lost opportunity at love or the end of a long-term relationship can sometimes make us feel like a second chance just isn’t in the cards. And when Valentine’s Day is focused on romantic dinners for two or coupled walks on the beach, it can be a painful reminder of what we lack.

Let’s face it. There’s no substitute for young love, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy being loved again later in life, especially for seniors. “Fortunately, in some ways, there has never been a better time for women over 60 to be in the dating world,” says Margaret Manning. “The rise of divorce among ‘silver splitters’ means there are more single older men — and there might be more great guys out there than you might expect at first glance, especially if you give them a chance.”

Expert Dating Advice for Older Adults

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Keys to Growing a Business When the Marriage is Over

A loving and caring companionship is a good thing, but it’s also important to recognize that it’s different for older adults. If you find yourself ready to take a shot at love again, here are three pieces of expert dating advice for making this experience feel as good as if it was new.

1. Instead of going for red hot, opt for a slow burn: Daters who are 50 and older tend to be less impulsive. And AARP writer Ken Solin says that’s a good thing: “By now, we’ve collected enough life experience to know better than to fall for the first person we meet,” said Solin. “We understand what works for us and what doesn’t.” For older adults, the belief that a fulfilling relationship is out there waiting for us still holds true. The difference is that we are willing to wait for the right person to come along.

2. Bring the Sex-C back: Instead of relying on intercourse to be the foundation for your budding relationship, a growing community is coming forward with conversations about intimacy challenges. Laura Brashier, founder of RomanceOnly.com, helped ignite this conversation when she pioneered a site designed for people whose physical and emotional challenges prevent them from engaging in intercourse. “While these people are unable to have intercourse, they still crave intimacy but are unable to open up about it,” says Brashier. “I’ve discovered that people facing difficulties with sexual intercourse still want to show love and be loved in return.”

Sharing intimate moments with someone you love is an essential part of a growing relationship, but for older adults, that doesn’t always require intercourse. Instead, a loving couple can explore other ways to share pleasure and develop a personal connection. It can be as simple as spending a whole day together erranding, participating in common interests, sharing meals, and everything in between — and then parting ways at sunset.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 4 Reasons Going Outside Your Comfort Zone Is a Good Idea

3. Expect respect: At this stage of life, older adults know what they want and what they deserve in a relationship. Yes, we want romance and attention, but we also need respect. “We all need respect, especially from those who are closest and most intimately connected with us,” says Peter Gray, PhD. “It seems to me that women, even more than men, have suffered when love directed toward them is not accompanied by respect.” It’s helpful to discover common interests, but a caring partner will also respect differing hobbies or career choices. For instance, if your partner cannot understand why you would pursue teaching as a career or insists that you give up bowling league to spend more time at the theater, these may be signs that your new squeeze is a drip. “A lack of respect is unacceptable under any circumstances, but it’s especially intolerable on a first encounter because it’s unlikely to improve with time,” says Solin.

Love certainly has its share of unpredictable twists, but there has never been an easier time to navigate those turns. For instance, with online dating sites catering to older adults and those facing struggles with intimacy, the ability to connect is offering new hope to older adults every day. By using a strategy that includes things like patience, honest communication about intimacy — and, above all, respect — you’re on the right track to finding new love again.

For more information about and articles by our relationship expert Dr. Amy Osmond Cook, click here.

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Relationship Advice: How to Stay Confident in a Long-Term Relationship

Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: How to Stay Confident in a Long-Term Relationship

How to communicate. Photo: Nyul / Bigstock.com

By David Wygant

In order to feel confident in a long-term relationship, you need to be in the right long-term relationship for you. If you’re not safe and you don’t feel like you’re being heard, then you’re in the wrong partnership. There’s no way in the world you will ever thrive in a relationship where you feel judged and evaluated at all times. For me — and I’ve been in many long-term relationships — the ones that I always felt most confident in were the relationships where I was actually seen for who I am. If a woman is trying to change you, if she’s trying to make you into someone you’re not, you’re never going to feel confident.

Long-Term Relationship Advice from Relationship Expert David Wygant

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How Can I Change My Dating Tactics for the New Year?

Long-term relationships are some of the most beautiful things you can ever experience, but the only way to have a successful one is to truly communicate who you are. As a relationship expert, I believe that the beginning of a relationship is when you have the opportunity to be who you are and expose yourself. If you’re going to give her a false version of yourself, then her expectations are going to run rampant. And when her expectations run rampant, you’re not going to have a successful long-term relationship. That’s the biggest mistake most people make.

Most people make this mistake because, over and over again, they think they need to misrepresent themselves to “get” the relationship. To me, I expose it all — everything. I reveal all my fears and insecurities because I’m looking for a real relationship, a long-term relationship where I’m able to grow.

A strong long-term relationship is a relationship that’s a mirror. You literally reflect each other each and every day. By doing so, you will show each other exactly what you need to learn. A great relationship will reflect that right back at you. The best relationships are when you grow and when you get out of your own story and are able to create new stories together.

Related Link: Dating Advice for Dealing With the Break-Up Blues

So my best relationship advice for feeling confident is to be ready to express yourself. If you’re not able to talk about who you are and what you want, then you’re not in the right long-term relationship. Now, I can sit here and write another 25 pages on this topic, but the reality is, in life, we need to keep things more simple. And the simple dating advice that I can give you today is that you need to communicate all your needs, your wants, and your desires at the start of a partnership to be fully accepted and heard. Once you do, you’ll feel confident in your long-term relationship.

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. 

For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.

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Expert Dating Advice: What’s Blocking Me From Finding Love?

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Iris Benrubi about what may be blocking you from finding love.

Relationship Expert Iris Benrubi Shares Her Best Dating Advice

1. You don’t understand your attachment strategy: “It comes from your childhood when you were totally dependent on your parents. You had to decide, Can I depend on them or not?” Benrubi explains. For instance, if you had a parent who was inconsistent, you may have developed an anxious attachment strategy, meaning you’re always gauging how close someone is and tend to chase after men. Or if you had a parent who just disappeared, you most likely developed an avoidant attachment style and tend to keep others at a distance. “You need to recognize what you bring to relationships and what you need to do move away from harmful attachment strategies,” the relationship expert adds.

Benrubi also encourages you to learn how to manage your anxiety — whether it’s with meditation, affirmations, breathing, or yoga. If you can’t do it on your own, reach out to a professional for help.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Find Love

2. You move inwards after a break-up: It’s so tempting to want to keep your heart safe and say, “I don’t need a man.” “Underneath that, the reality is that we need to be connected to another person romantically,” Benrubi says. We’re actually biologically wired to need people in our life, so don’t let the fear of getting hurt again hold you back from a relationship. “Of course, we can all survive on our own, but we really want to be with that right person,” Oshima adds.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 3 Tips to Turn Around Your Dating Life

3. You don’t know your own worth “In order to get into a relationship with a good man, we need to get really clear on our value,” Benrubi shares. If you’ve been in a partnership with someone who puts you down or had a childhood where you were dismissed or felt invisible, you may try to earn a man’s love. “When you’re in that ‘earn energy,’ he’s up here, and you’re down here. You’re always dog paddling and trying to figure out what you need to do next,” she explains. “It’s exhausting.” If you want a man who respects you, you have to respect yourself first.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice Video: Why Smart, Successful Women Can Fail at Love


On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about why smart, successful women can fail at love. “I was in grad school getting a doctorate in the social sciences, and I realized that I was pretty good at that, but I really wasn’t good at love,” Welch shares. “I knew there was something that I was doing wrong — because the common denominator in all of my relationships was me.” Here, she shares three reasons why succeeding at love is hard for so many women.

Relationship Author Duana Welch Is Interviewed in Dating Advice Video

1. The things women do to succeed at work don’t work in the world of dating: At work, women are told to put themselves forward, pursue what they want, and lead their co-workers, but in a relationship, those qualities are often unrewarded. “Research shows that women who routinely pursue men are seen as low-status and not good wife material,” Welch explains. “I hate that!”

“If I liked a man…I was kind of shoving myself down his throat,” the relationship author adds of her own dating mishaps. “Of course, I didn’t see it that way. There’s never been a perfume called Desperation, and there never will be. But in the world of work, that stuff works.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

2. Some men hold a woman’s success against her: There was a study done where researchers put up two identical dating profiles. One emphasized the woman being young and beautiful, while the other focused on her being an educated, high-powered attorney. Unfortunately, it’s no surprise that the first profile got a lot more hits. “One reason is because men respond to youth and beauty, but it’s also because men are intimidated by women who have achieved more than they have,” Welch explains.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes’ But Shouldn’t

3. We have a confirmation bias: In other words, we see what we want to see. “You fall in bed and fall in love, and then you find out the dealbreakers,” Welch shares. Instead, spare yourself the pain and take early action to determine your must-haves and dealbreakers. Then, you’ll be able to make a more informed decisions about your emotions.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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