Dating Advice Video: Stop Settling for Men Who Don’t Deserve You!


By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Tinzley Bradford about how to stop settling for men who don’t deserve you. Here, Bradford shares three signs that you’re with the wrong man.

Relationship Author Reveals How to Stop Settling in Dating Advice Video


1. You’re unhappy: “If you’re constantly unhappy with how you’re being treated, you’re settling,” Bradford shares. “Love and a healthy relationship does not create confusion or make you feel unhappy, unstable, or even uncertain.” You should be in a relationship with someone who brings out the best in you and makes you feel good about yourself.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: The Questions You Should Be Asking Him

2. Your relationship isn’t reciprocal: “It takes two to tango, baby!” Bradford exclaims. If you’re always giving but never getting enough back, you’re settling. You deserve a man who loves you just as much as you love him. “He’s got to be doing his part in your relationship,” the relationship author adds.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Fall in Love with Dating 

3. You feel guilty for being you: “If you’re in a relationship with a guy who’s competing against you, belittling your dreams, and not being excited about your success, you don’t need to be with that person” she shares. You should never be with someone who makes you feel guilty for wanting to shine.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice Video: How to Get Men to Pursue You Like Crazy

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship strategist and coach Cyndi Olin about three ways to get men to pursue you like crazy. Listen to their expert dating advice in the video above!

Relationship Experts Discuss How to Get Men to Pursue You in Dating Advice Video

1. Smile: With this piece of expert dating advice, Olin reminds us of the saying, “Your presence is a present.” Walk out the door, be present in your body, and smile — and you can attract men like crazy. Eye contact and compliments pair well with a smile. “That’s like a ‘come over’ signal,” she explains. “90 percent of the time, a man will approach you and at least start talking to you. It’s all about your energy.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Beware of These Relationships

2. Engage with them: “There’s a lot of advice out there, including to let a man lead,” Olin shares. “While I believe that, men are confused when it comes to modern dating.” Men are often very careful as a way to ensure that they’re respecting you. Have a belief deep down in your soul that men are good people, and make an effort to get to know them. Remember: Your vibe attracts your tribe.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: What Men Want You to Know

3. Let go: After you smile and engage with them, let them be the one to pursue you, to call you more. “You’re not pursuing. You’re a friendly receptor of light,” Olin says. “You want him to pursue you, and he’s looking for permission to do that.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Expert Relationship Advice: Two Things That Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about two things that make a man fall in love and commit to a relationship. Watch the video above for their best expert relationship advice!

Expert Relationship Advice to Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

First, it’s important to note that it’s not really “things” that make a man fall in love and commit. “They’re traits — traits that you can develop in yourself,” Sabourin explains.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How to Emotionally Connect with a Man

1. The first trait is your high-value status: “It’s your job to present and project and create this perception that you have a high value,” the dating coach says. “And how you do that is to accept yourself.” Don’t turn over your significance to a man — your personal value needs to come from within. She adds, “Of course, any man who is looking for a woman to spend his life with wants a woman who has a high regard for herself.”

2. The second trait is vulnerability: You need to balance your strong sense of self-worth with vulnerability to avoid coming across as too masculine, aloof, or conceited. “You have to create a space of openness with a man so he can come in,” Sabourin says. “Vulnerability is really about sharing things about yourself, not being afraid to show who you really are.” Tell him things that will inspire him to take care of you.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How to Get Men to Fall Into Your Lap

What about a woman who thinks being vulnerable will make her appear weak? “Ladies, look at that, because that tells me you’re protecting your heart and you have a defense up,” Sabourin shares. “When you have a defense up, it’s like a wall, a fence, that keeps the love and relationship you want out.” There’s so much power in vulnerability: It shows that you love and accept yourself, that you’ve been hurt but that you’re open to something new.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Expert Dating Advice: What’s Blocking Me From Finding Love?

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Iris Benrubi about what may be blocking you from finding love.

Relationship Expert Iris Benrubi Shares Her Best Dating Advice

1. You don’t understand your attachment strategy: “It comes from your childhood when you were totally dependent on your parents. You had to decide, Can I depend on them or not?” Benrubi explains. For instance, if you had a parent who was inconsistent, you may have developed an anxious attachment strategy, meaning you’re always gauging how close someone is and tend to chase after men. Or if you had a parent who just disappeared, you most likely developed an avoidant attachment style and tend to keep others at a distance. “You need to recognize what you bring to relationships and what you need to do move away from harmful attachment strategies,” the relationship expert adds.

Benrubi also encourages you to learn how to manage your anxiety — whether it’s with meditation, affirmations, breathing, or yoga. If you can’t do it on your own, reach out to a professional for help.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Find Love

2. You move inwards after a break-up: It’s so tempting to want to keep your heart safe and say, “I don’t need a man.” “Underneath that, the reality is that we need to be connected to another person romantically,” Benrubi says. We’re actually biologically wired to need people in our life, so don’t let the fear of getting hurt again hold you back from a relationship. “Of course, we can all survive on our own, but we really want to be with that right person,” Oshima adds.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 3 Tips to Turn Around Your Dating Life

3. You don’t know your own worth “In order to get into a relationship with a good man, we need to get really clear on our value,” Benrubi shares. If you’ve been in a partnership with someone who puts you down or had a childhood where you were dismissed or felt invisible, you may try to earn a man’s love. “When you’re in that ‘earn energy,’ he’s up here, and you’re down here. You’re always dog paddling and trying to figure out what you need to do next,” she explains. “It’s exhausting.” If you want a man who respects you, you have to respect yourself first.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice Video: Why Smart, Successful Women Can Fail at Love


On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about why smart, successful women can fail at love. “I was in grad school getting a doctorate in the social sciences, and I realized that I was pretty good at that, but I really wasn’t good at love,” Welch shares. “I knew there was something that I was doing wrong — because the common denominator in all of my relationships was me.” Here, she shares three reasons why succeeding at love is hard for so many women.

Relationship Author Duana Welch Is Interviewed in Dating Advice Video

1. The things women do to succeed at work don’t work in the world of dating: At work, women are told to put themselves forward, pursue what they want, and lead their co-workers, but in a relationship, those qualities are often unrewarded. “Research shows that women who routinely pursue men are seen as low-status and not good wife material,” Welch explains. “I hate that!”

“If I liked a man…I was kind of shoving myself down his throat,” the relationship author adds of her own dating mishaps. “Of course, I didn’t see it that way. There’s never been a perfume called Desperation, and there never will be. But in the world of work, that stuff works.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

2. Some men hold a woman’s success against her: There was a study done where researchers put up two identical dating profiles. One emphasized the woman being young and beautiful, while the other focused on her being an educated, high-powered attorney. Unfortunately, it’s no surprise that the first profile got a lot more hits. “One reason is because men respond to youth and beauty, but it’s also because men are intimidated by women who have achieved more than they have,” Welch explains.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes’ But Shouldn’t

3. We have a confirmation bias: In other words, we see what we want to see. “You fall in bed and fall in love, and then you find out the dealbreakers,” Welch shares. Instead, spare yourself the pain and take early action to determine your must-haves and dealbreakers. Then, you’ll be able to make a more informed decisions about your emotions.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Expert Dating Advice: What to Do When He Disappears

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Wendy Newman to discuss what to do when a man disappears and offer their best expert dating advice. “It’s heartbreaking; it’s horrible because you don’t get closure,” Oshima says. Here, Newman shares why men often disappear and the best ways to handle this devastating dating occurrence.

Relationship Author Wendy Newman Shares Expert Dating Advice

First, there are two main culprits for why he just disappears. Let’s say you have an amazing time together and you can tell he’s just as into you as you are to him. Then, suddenly, he’s gone. “What I’m guessing happened is, he got home and started reconciling all of the conversations that you had,” Newman explains. “He could see that there was a dealbreaker in there that didn’t stop him in the moment because you are so charming and enchanting. But after he came down from the high of the date, he thought, “Oh, shoot.” Men don’t call again because they feel like they don’t owe us anything because there’s no relationship yet. “They think they’re doing us a favor by just disappearing,” the relationship author adds. “They don’t understand how that drives us insane.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Be a Fantastic Date for Anyone!

Another reason he may disappear is because, although he thinks you’re wonderful, it’s just not the right time for a serious relationship. He sees that you’re the whole package — a delicious, gourmet meal — but all he has an appetite for right now is ice cream. Newman emphasizes that “timing is a big piece of dating.”

Since you may never know why he really disappeared, Newman suggests making up the most empowering interpretation of the situation, giving yourself the closure you need to move on. In her personal experience, sometimes, this made-up interpretation can turn out to be true! Most importantly, remember that the reason why men disappear usually has nothing to do with you. Keep reminding yourself of your self-worth — maybe, just maybe, you were simply too good for him.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Don’t Be a Rules Girl!

If you still need to alleviate some heartache, draft an e-mail to him and thank him for all of the parts of him and the date that you found enjoyable and memorable. Tell him that you had a great time with him and let him know that you understand there must not have been a connection for him. You don’t have to hit send — just do whatever you need to do to feel better. “Don’t have any expectations — you may get a response, and you may not,” Oshima says. “Either way, you just have to let it go and move on.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice: How to Fall In Love with Dating


On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Tinzley Bradford about how to fall in love with dating. Here, Bradford shares three pieces of dating advice to help you go into dating with a positive attitude so that you actually enjoy it.

Relationship Author Gives Dating Advice


1. Fall in love with yourself first: “A lot of times, we go into a relationship thinking that we’re ready,” Bradford says. “In order for you to be healthy and find excitement and joy in dating again, you must first find excitement and joy in yourself.” Once you’re in a good place both physically and mentally, a man will be able to instantly see that you’re the total package and gravitate towards your energy. Oshima adds, “Be the best version of yourself.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: The Questions You Should Be Asking Him

2. Give it a shot: You can’t fall in love with dating if you don’t try! Every date in your past wasn’t a horror story, right? “Think of the ones that were good,” the relationship author explains. “Pay attention to the signs in the early stages of a relationship.” Don’t let previous romantic failures keep you from truly giving dating a shot. “Do what you need to do to get out there,” Oshima says of this dating advice.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Signs You’re Settling for the Wrong Man

3. You have to trust the process: If you have trust issues, dating will be hard. “Trust, trust, trust that starting fresh will make you feel good,” Bradford shares. Remember that all men aren’t dogs — trust that the next one you meet will be worth your time.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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